Dear Anonymous,
I have been watching your driving lately with growing astonishment at your skill and finesse behind the wheel of multiple heavy metallic vehicles. I'd just like to thank you for all of the life-threatening joy you have brought me. Here are a a few behaviors I found particularly delightful:
1) Driving with your feet. It's just so amazing to watch.
2) Cutting me off repeatedly, then sitting in my blind spot and refusing to move even when I've had my turn signal on for five minutes. There's nothing like a good bite of frustration to start out the day.
3) Screaming at me when I'm a pedestrian because I took a whole 18 seconds to walk across many lanes of traffic while I had the crossing signal. One of these days, I'll be sure to enjoy it enough to bring my steel toed work boots for a nice little de-stress session on your bumper.
4) Forgetting exactly what those dotted white lines on the road are and remembering to swerve violently between them to preserve your personal space.
5) Not using your turn signal when you're about to place several thousand pounds of material moving at 75 MPH in my direct path. Who needs those distracting lights?
6) Talking on your phone and going 45 in the fast lane on the aforementioned 75 MPH road. We all appreciate your hard work to keep society running.
7) Violently accelerating and decelerating between 50 and 90 MPH. Give those brake pads a good test.
Going 15 on a one lane 65 MPH road without lights... at night. You're obviously trying to evade the fuzz, so I should turn off my lights too.
9) Getting within 3 feet of my bumper and turning on your brights. I just love retinal burn-out.
10) Swerving into on-coming traffic. I completely understand your desire to kill the on-coming cars.
11) I go the speed limit (±5 MPH) just to annoy you because it's so fun. Next time I do that, be sure to speed ahead of me, then slam on the brakes in the hope that I will hit your bumper and pay the lawsuit.
12) Throw your drink out of the window right onto my hood. I love cleaning up after you.
13) It gives me such joy to cut in front of you when I'm about to miss the one lane exit to get to my important meeting when you refuse to admit me into the lane after a significant period of time with my turn signal on. Don't be afraid to tail me all the way along the ramp honking your horn
Your programming is likewise excellent. For example, your 28 kb header design for Prizm add-ins with 5KB of code was pure genius. I also marvel at your brilliant use of non-IE browser incompatibilities with MSN. There's nothing like a few dozen forced page refreshes and broken redirects to make me want to switch.
I have been watching your driving lately with growing astonishment at your skill and finesse behind the wheel of multiple heavy metallic vehicles. I'd just like to thank you for all of the life-threatening joy you have brought me. Here are a a few behaviors I found particularly delightful:
1) Driving with your feet. It's just so amazing to watch.
2) Cutting me off repeatedly, then sitting in my blind spot and refusing to move even when I've had my turn signal on for five minutes. There's nothing like a good bite of frustration to start out the day.
3) Screaming at me when I'm a pedestrian because I took a whole 18 seconds to walk across many lanes of traffic while I had the crossing signal. One of these days, I'll be sure to enjoy it enough to bring my steel toed work boots for a nice little de-stress session on your bumper.
4) Forgetting exactly what those dotted white lines on the road are and remembering to swerve violently between them to preserve your personal space.
5) Not using your turn signal when you're about to place several thousand pounds of material moving at 75 MPH in my direct path. Who needs those distracting lights?
6) Talking on your phone and going 45 in the fast lane on the aforementioned 75 MPH road. We all appreciate your hard work to keep society running.
7) Violently accelerating and decelerating between 50 and 90 MPH. Give those brake pads a good test.
Going 15 on a one lane 65 MPH road without lights... at night. You're obviously trying to evade the fuzz, so I should turn off my lights too.
9) Getting within 3 feet of my bumper and turning on your brights. I just love retinal burn-out.
10) Swerving into on-coming traffic. I completely understand your desire to kill the on-coming cars.
11) I go the speed limit (±5 MPH) just to annoy you because it's so fun. Next time I do that, be sure to speed ahead of me, then slam on the brakes in the hope that I will hit your bumper and pay the lawsuit.
12) Throw your drink out of the window right onto my hood. I love cleaning up after you.
13) It gives me such joy to cut in front of you when I'm about to miss the one lane exit to get to my important meeting when you refuse to admit me into the lane after a significant period of time with my turn signal on. Don't be afraid to tail me all the way along the ramp honking your horn
Your programming is likewise excellent. For example, your 28 kb header design for Prizm add-ins with 5KB of code was pure genius. I also marvel at your brilliant use of non-IE browser incompatibilities with MSN. There's nothing like a few dozen forced page refreshes and broken redirects to make me want to switch.
Is it bad that when I read "drivers" I thought you were referring to software to support hardware until I started perusing the topic? 
DJ Omnimaga, I think he was addressing anonymous people, not Anonymous specifically. 