First of all, I'm in 10th grade in high school (youngyin, lol).

So there's this girl I've been getting to know and stuff. She's pretty cool and we dig each other, right? I decide I am going to ask her out.
The day I was going to do it, I decided I just didn't want to go to school that day (woke up kind of late). So during most of the day, I'm loafing around doing nothing, doing stuff on the computer, sleeping, etc. Later in the day, I check Facebook, and I find the girl that I was supposed to ask out that day was asked out by someone else, and she said yes to them. I felt butthurt by myself for a few days (I still am) and went =(. The worst part is, from what I gathered by friends of mine and hers, there's a really good chance she would of said yes if I were there to ask her that day.

Lesson learned, don't skip f-ing school.

Aww, that sucks, sorry to hear it. I can't say I've ever experience quite that situation, although I had the situation where a girl I was interested in wasn't ready for a relationship. I continued being her very good friend though, and eventually things started to change, and now I'm a very happy Kerm to have been with her for over a year and a half. Moral of the story, things will work out eventually. Is she still going out with the other guy? I can't help but think you'll get a chance to redeem yourself sooner or later.

Like Kerm said, keep being her friend. Both of the relationships I've been in (18ish months, 10 months and counting respectively) have stemmed from long term friendship, and if you keep it up you'll be there if whatever relationship she's in now falls apart, and even if it doesn't, you'll still be able to enjoy the friendship you have now.

I feel for you. I was really into this girl once, and found out the day after spring break that she had broken up with her bf, and gotten with a new guy in the intervining time.

Ambiguous language is ambiguous. Here's my attempt at a break down.

Situation 1: 'Ask out' means 'Ask her to go on a date'
This is no big deal, bro. If she's busy that night, ask her out for the next night. Be a gentleman (hold doors/ pay for stuff), and rely on that and your charmingly good looks for her to choose you over him. This is the stage where your text-messaging game is most important. Text her 5 out of the 7 nights per week. Make sure the conversations last at least 20 minutes. After 45 minutes, make sure you aren't still pushing the conversation. If she's driving it, by all means keep talking to her, but don't let her think you're annoying. And seriously, don't use 'lol' or other txt-tlk unless she does it a lot (and if she does, are you sure you want to be with her?)

Situation 2: 'Ask out' means 'Ask her to be my girlfriend'
This just means you were on the wrong path from the beginning. If she'll say yes to another guy, you were asking waaay too soon. You should have at least a week (2 doesn't hurt) of KNOWING you're the only guy taking her out before you take the 'official' plunge.
But to get out of this situation, just leave it alone for about 5 days. After the wait period, this is another place where your text-messaging game can be important. Instead of being extra flirty like in situation 1, just be a good friend and let her understand how close and alike you are. Facebook stalk her favorite movies and music and randomly drop them in conversation. This can take time, but keep with it if she's worth it. It's really the best way to get to her without making her mad. Whatever you do, DON'T talk about how you're better than her boyfriend. If she complains about him, be there for her and agree with every bad thing she says, but NEVER bring him up. In fact, if you hang out and she doesn't mention him, you're in good shape. Just keep at it and you'll be in.

Oh, and DO NOT try to hook up with one of her friends to make her jealous! This type of thing only works if you've already dated and you're trying to get her back. This would destroy any chance you have. Don't let anyone talk you into it. It's the completely wrong thing to do.

As a HS sophomore? Sure, it happens, but still...

Anyways, (to regurgitate what elfprince and Kerm already said) don't worry all that much about being friend-zoned; both of my two relationships sprung from friendships. Plus, HS relationships tend to be short term flings, so it's nice to really get to know somebody before jumping into a relationship.

What if you don't have texting? And why does it matter if someone uses txt-tlk a lot, especially in a text message? It's hard to hold decent conversation through texting if you're constrained to 160 characters including spaces and punctuation.


Why? I can't even fathom why making sure you hint at knowing all her favorite things is important. Furthermore, what if you don't have a Facebook?


Quoted for emphasis. Even I know this is a bad idea and I'm the least versed in the art of relationship-fu

Yeah, memorizing someone's facebook info page could come across as creepy... plus, they tend to be a little dated. I haven't updated mine in years

It's creepy if they know. otherwise it's conversation fodder.

Sigh too much of a wuss to ask the girl I like......



Too unpopular.........

Do it anyway.

I also don't think you want to appear to be the exact same person as them; it would be no fun dating a mirror of yourself, imho.

Of course, but if you're going to date someone you want to be able to enjoy their music and movie/television habits (and have them enjoy yours).

If you don't have texting, you're going to be having a lot of trouble. If the girl works somewhere in retail or something where you can run into her most days without specifically going to see her, that can work. And what provider still has 160 character caps? And it really isn't that difficult to stick under than if you are, indeed, stuck with it. You're not writing a letter. You shouldn't be saying more than two sentences at a time.


Showing mutual interests is always a plus. And in the short term, it helps that conversation.

Actually *calling* people is taboo now or something? Does nobody use IM anymore?


Verizon.... still.... >_>
And I'm still curious. Why is it a "bad sign" if someone uses txt-tlk a lot?


True. Alternatively, you could just ask the girl about her interests in conversation. Which is pretty much the only thing you can do if you don't Facebook.

protip: get a free gmail account, and text her with that from your laptop if you're like me and have crappy cell service and constant internet access.

I personally consider txt-talk a mark of unintelligence and non-caring. Somebody who takes the extra 10 seconds and 5 keystrokes to write "are" and "you" and "be" instead of "r" and "u" and "b", and puts proper periods on the ends of sentences, rates much much higher in my book, especially if I've never met them and have no other frame of reference for them. Indeed, if your phone has a qwerty keyboard, you have no excuse other than laziness for not typing out full sentences, and even if you have only 12 keys and T9 Words, you should be able to write some semblance of proper English.

Oh, if she uses IM, that works. I just didn't mention it because nobody uses IM anymore. At least no one does where I live..
And calling people is good, but much riskier. Texting is just something you do while doing something else. If you call her and she's not interested, it makes things pretty awkward. Also, if she's just a little interested, it's easy to annoy someone by over-calling. Plus, you're not on the spot in a text message. You always have time to think of a clever response. On the phone, you'll be nervous since you like her, so you'll end up just blabbing like an idiot. It's just got 'bad news bears' written all over it.

No, I have verizon, and it definitely does. It sends as multiple pages if they're off network, but it still sends.


Laziness. Ditzy-ness. Lack of professionalism. Plus, it's harder to read emotion when you type like that.

That is a phone feature, not a carrier feature/limitation. The 160 character limitation is a limitation of SMS. When you type a text longer than 160 characters, it splits it up into multiple SMS messages. When you SMS to somebody else, it has a chance of ending up as several individual text messages, depending on their phone. If their phone supports multipart SMS, its all good. If it doesn't, it'll be awkward for the recipient to read your message.

Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for clearing that up. I don't think my phone manual really said anything about that. Or if it did, it wasn't very obvious.
* Keith blames Pantech because their phones suck